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Who, What, Where, Ed/Script
is in the kitchen, playing with a yo-yo. Ed: "Boy, I'm good! Yo yo, yo yo yo, yo..." Edd: "Just as I thought. One teaspoon of butter, perfectly measured. Eddy?" Eddy: "Got it, Double D." grabs the entire stick. Cooking at the stove "You guys haven't lived till you've tried one of my omelets. Ed, eggs, I need eggs!" Ed: "I got 'em, Eddy!" ties himself up in his yo-yo string. "Almost there, Eddy!" tries to walk forward but falls. Edd: "Ed! You're pitting the floor!" Ed: "Aw no way, Double D, not since I had my braces removed." Eddy: "Eggs, Ed, eggs!" Ed: the freezer "Eggs eggs eggs eggs eggs eggs eggs." finds a popsicle. "Pop freeze!" Eddy: way too much salt in the pan "You won't find eggs in the freezer, Monobrow! Look in the fridge? Next to the milk?" Ed: tongue stuck to the popsicle "I'll be right back, Eddy!" looks through the fridge. "I found some eggs!" Eddy: "Bring 'em over, I'm starving!" Ed: "I'm Ed!" brings them over, his tongue still stuck. His tongue knocks the fridge over, and it stops him, pulling him back. Ed: "Got them!" falls, releasing the eggs. The eggs fly all over the place. Eddy holds up his pan to protect himself. Edd is pelted to the floor. Eddy: up "Hmm. Ed? Oh Ed?" Ed: his treat "Banana flavor, Eddy! Wanna bite?" Eddy: "Hold that thought." smashes Ed in the face with the frying pan. ---- and Edd are trying to clean the eggs off of themselves. Edd: "No eggs, no omelets, Eddy." Eddy: "If we had a chicken, we'd be knee deep in eggs." gets an idea. "A chicken! That's it!" Ed: on Eddy "A chicken! Oh please Eddy, can we get a chicken? C'mon Eddy! Oh please Eddy let's get a chicken. Can we please?" pleading "I love chickens, Eddy!" Eddy: "Sure, Ed, you can have a chicken." sinister "But I get to keep the eggs." ---- chicken is sitting on a nest in a bucket. Rolf suddenly picks it up. Rolf: "The hay is warm and tells Rolf all." pulls out an egg. "Ah. The fat has been creamed, and I will sleep well. A fine egg. Rolf will remember." Ed: "Look! Chickens!" Eddy: "And they lay eggs! Hey Rolf, fire over that egg-maker!" Ed: a chicken "Chickens are fast." Eddy: "C'mon Rolf, give us a chicken!" Rolf: "Has your brain turned to custard like half-priced pastry, Ed-boy? I give you no chickens!" drops the chickens he is holding. "It is very simple, like yourself. You hatch your own fowl." Edd: "An opportunity to nurture the life and future of a domestic fowl seems appealing." Ed: "Where do eggs come from, Rolf?" Rolf: up a chicken "Let me show you exactly where the egg comes from–" Edd: "No! Um...eggs come from chickens, Ed." Ed: "Where does a chicken come from?" Rolf: "An egg, slowpoke Ed! My day is half over and you are half full. Goodbye." Eddy: "Wait! Rolf! How bout that egg?" Rolf: "You must trade for the egg, greasy Ed-boy." Eddy: "Trade? For what?" Rolf: "Sawdust. You want this egg, yes, Ed-boy?" ---- Eddy: a cup and a funnel "We'll have a chicken in no time!" places the funnel in the cup. Ed: a two-person saw and a log "I love chickens, Eddy!" Edd: the other end of the saw "I enjoy witty banter, but my arms are falling asleep here!" Eddy: "The sawdust collector is ready. Let's go boys!" starts sawing, and the dust slowly collects in the cup. "I'd hate to do this for a living." on the other end of the saw, is being pulled back and forth, slamming against the log on every pull. Jonny: up to them "Stop! Stop sawing that log!" Eddy: "How else are we supposed to get sawdust? Maybe Plank'd like to contribute." Jonny: "Oh no. Plank says–" Plank: Jonny: "–Kevin has lots of sawdust!" Eddy: excited "Kevin's got sawdust? Remind me to thank you! Later!" Ed: "I'm getting a chicken!" ---- Kevin: a trash can full of sawdust out of his shed "Sawdust bites." wipes his brow. "Doing chores bites." Edd: "Excuse me, Kevin, but we would like to offer our services and help you dispose of that–" Eddy: "Give us your sawdust, Kevin!" to scam him "I mean, sawdust is so heavy. And it's just lying around, doing nothing. Useless dust. From a saw. Eh?" Edd: "And our respect for wood by-products will ensure it will be distributed to a loving home." Eds grin nervously. Kevin: "Fine. You can have the sawdust." The Eds: "YEAH!" Eddy: "Now we can get my egg!" Ed: his friends "And I can hug a chicken." Kevin: "I'll trade you for...painting my shed." Eddy: irked "Trade shmade, paint your own lousy shed." Kevin: "No sweat. I'll just take this sawdust and–" Eddy: "No wait um...so where's the paint?" Kevin: "What paint?" Eddy: "How do we paint the shed with no paint?" Kevin: "You figure it out. Dork!" ---- is in his room, doing a still life of a fruit bowl. Jimmy: an orange "Darn waxy buildup. Perfect." painting "You're a pretty dog–huh?" looks out to see the Eds have taken over his studio. Eddy: "How's it going, Rembrandt?" Jimmy: into a closet "My fresco is ruined!" Eddy: "Jimmy, wait! Just give us some paint! Jimmy, c'mon!" recieving no reply, he tries to break the door down. Jimmy: in a corner "How much must an artist suffer? Oh, the torment." Eddy: under the door "Come out here, willya? We just need some lousy paint." Jimmy: the groping hand "AAAH!" Eddy: "Where are ya, ya little–" biting sound is heard "YOW! He bit me! He bit me! Jimmy bit me! Jimmy bit me!" Edd: "A starving artist, I suppose." snickers "I couldn't resist." marches up to Jimmy's door. "Pardon me, Jimmy, perhaps we could interest you in a trade?" Jimmy: "A trade?" thinks "Clams!" Edd: aback "Clams?" Eddy: "Clams? Where the heck do you get–" Jimmy: the door "No clams, no paint." slams the door shut. ---- Eddy: "Clams? What's with clams?" Eds ring a doorbell. "Could you spare some clams?" rush to another door. Edd: "Pardon me, you wouldn't happen to have any clams, would you?" Eddy: yet another person "Say, you haven't seen any clams around here, have ya?" Edd: another house "Could we borrow a cup of clams?" Ed: another doorbell "Can Eddy come out to play?" Eddy: "I'm right beside you, Ed." Ed: "Hi, Eddy!" sudden noise comes from the sewers. A manhole cover is lifted and pushed aside. Plank climbs out, wearing scuba gear. Jonny follows him, dressed the same way. Jonny: "Boy, Plank, you're hard to beat when it comes to gathering clams!" Plank: Edd: "Clams?" Ed: towards Jonny "Is that Jonny?" Eddy: "The clam master has arrived." Edd: his head "My, how convenient." ---- Eddy: Jonny "Just what we're looking for. Toss a few of those clams our way, Jonny boy." Jonny: "Trade ya, Eddy." Eddy: out "Oh sure, why not." Jonny: "We'd like an anchor!" Eddy: "An anchor? What are you, nuts? I'm going home!" walks into the open manhole. Ed: down at Eddy "But I love chickens, Eddy!" ---- Kankers are sitting on their sofa, reading a copy of "Tire Iron Weekly" and giggling. The doorbell rings, and they rush to get it. The Kankers: "Visitors!" Lee: "Out of the way!" Marie: with her sisters over who gets to open the door "How's a knuckle sandwich sound?" pushes them away. "Ha!" opens the door to reveal a tall man in a trenchcoat. Upon closer inspection, the man is revealed to be the Eds, standing on one another. Tall Man: "Greetings, ladies. Um, we're doing a survey, and–" chest taps him. Tall Man's Chest (Edd): "Eddy!" Tall Man: "Oh, I mean, ahem–" voice deepens "I'm doing a survey, and–" Lee: "Our mom's not home." Marie: "Yeah, take a hike." Kankers giggle. Tall Man: "I was wondering, how many anchors do you own?" May: "That's stupid." Lee: "You look familiar, mister." Eddy: "Huh?" his costume begins to shake "Stop it, will ya?" May: "You were on an infomercial?" Tall Man: "Um, no, yes. I'm very well known. Quite famous actually. Want my autograph?" Ed: his head out "I'm the legs." disguise collapses. Edd: to Ed "Oh my. Exposed." Marie: "It's our boyfriends!" Lee: "Eddy's such a weasel." Marie: "Group hug!" May: "Let's kiss them!" Ed: "Oh no, not me!" runs away, dragging his friends behind him. Eddy: "Run, Ed, run!" leave the trailer park. ---- Jonny: a swing with Plank "Listen to the clams gurgle in the bucket, Plank." Eddy: "Got your anchor, Jonny." hands Jonny a rope. "Allow me." spins the tire swing in a circle. The rope winds around Jonny, tying him up. Ed comes in, carrying a large rock. "Wise trade, Jonny. Clams for an anchor. I'm such a sucker." Edd "Quick, let's get over to Kevin's." points at Jonny, who has managed to get free and is clinging to the bucket. Eddy: "All right, all right! We couldn't get an anchor. Can we trade for something else?" Plank: Jonny: "Plank wants to trade!" ---- is playing badminton with Nazz. She draws back her racquet, but when she moves to hit the birdie she is unable to. Sarah: "HEY!" Eddy: "Give me your racquet, Sarah." Sarah: "My serve!" hits Eddy into the net. Eddy flies back into his friends. "DON'T EVER TOUCH MY RACQUET!" Ed: pleading "Sarah, we need it to trade for a chicken. Please?" Sarah: "I'll trade you for a giant teddy bear." Eddy: despairing "When will it end?" Ed: "Back to Jimmy's!" herds them away. ---- knocks on Jimmy's door. He looks through the peephole. Jimmy: "What do you want?" Eddy: "Giant teddy bear?" Jimmy: "Plums." Eddy: in frustration "What's with the food?" Edd: "Plums are good for you, Eddy." ---- Rolf: a plum "So, back again, wanting Rolf's plums, confused Ed-boys? Do you not want my egg?" Eddy: exasperated "Yes, we want the egg! But we need these plums first!" Rolf: "No plums, as I am still waiting for my sawdust. Do not fool Rolf!" Eddy: sarcastic "Oh, I know, let's trade!" fishes through his pockets. "How about a nice comb for those plums?" Rolf: "I have many, thank you." Eddy: "I should have noticed." through Edd's pockets "Let's see, a 'Condensed Manners for the Advanced' book?" no response, pulling out an abacus "Okay, a, a–" Edd: "Abacus, Eddy." Ed: "I got a yo-yo." plays with it. "That is called 'Walking the Dog'." Eddy: despairing "It's over, Double D. No eggs, no chicken, no omelets." Rolf: with the yo-yo and laughing "It is so simple, I am enjoying myself!" Eddy: hopeful "Yo-yo for plums, Rolf?" Rolf: "Yes, Ed-boy. I have never seen such a thing. My family will sit around, telling stories of produce spread and Rolf's yo-yo for generations." Eddy: "Well..." Rolf: him the plums "Ya ya. Goodbye." Eddy: "Be right back." ---- Eds go from house to house. They trade the plums for the bear, and the bear for the racquet. Eddy: "Ed, wait!" Edd: in the other direction "Jonny's this way!" Ed: "Fore!" the clams "Follow me!" Eds bring the paints to the shed, and the sawdust to Rolf's. ---- Eddy: in front of the sawdust-filled trashcan "So, here's the sawdust. Cough up the egg, Rolfy boy." Rolf: "Yes, the trade is complete." holds up the egg. "Behold." Edd: "Splendid." Eddy: it "It's mine." the egg "What I went through for you, baby." Edd: "I'll design plans for an incubator." Ed: "It has my eyes." Eddy: "And your thick outer shell." Ed: "I want to hold it, Eddy." grabs the egg. "Let's play!" Eddy: "Ed, no! Wait!" Ed: "You must be so cramped in there. Fly, chicken, fly!" opens the egg, spilling its contents. "Uh, the chicken's gone bad." Eddy: "Like my luck." Category:Scripts Category:Season 1 Category:Season 1 Scripts